The approaching Braddian troops attempt to enter through the mountains, but large explosions in the distance are heard, possibly making the mountains unstable. The officers decide that approaching from the coast would be safer.
The Braddians continue their journey through the night, with the officers eager to complete the mission and report its success to their superiors. However, this tires the troops.
Just before sunrise, the Braddians are ambushed by thousands of the small green creatures who were seen diembarking from the great ship - goblins! The Braddians surrender, and are taken captive by the goblins.
The goblins escort the Braddians through the mountains, where the great explosions are coming from. Rockslides are frequent, and progress through the mountains is slow. Goblins are seen all over the mountain ranges, either looking in wonder at the humans or busily blowing holes in the mountainside with explosives. From one officer's diary:
Colonel Redding wrote:More than once, I saw a goblin blow himself up with the unstable explosives. Blood and bones filled the air, horrifying some of the men. This did not seem to have the same impact on the goblins, though. Far from frightening them, the creatures seemed to regard it as entertainment, laughing as the limbs hit the ground. The goblins then happily continued with their work. Savage little beasts.
Eventually, the Braddians come to a large cave deep in the mountains. The cave appears to be artificial, having been formed with explosives. The party proceeds deep into the cave, with the only light coming from torches standing next to goblins who are picking away at the walls or floor of the cave. Redding's diary:
Colonel Redding wrote:
It seems that the goblins are tunneling into the mountains. They actually seem quite adept at it, despite the frequent deaths. It is my guess that they live in similar dwellings in whatever land they come from. Imagine, an entire society living beneath the ground under which we tread! Such curious creatures, these goblins.
Eventually, the Braddian force is taken into a very large room in the cave. In it, they see a great stockpile of explosives, large knives, campfires and what seem to be drunk goblins, all precariously close to one another. Along the walls, countless hammocks have been set up, presumably as beds. Goblins are seen scaling the walls with their black claws to reach a hammock. Bars, campfires and even what seem to be stores have been set up, some on the open ground, some carved into the stone, some even under the ground, with small staircases leading down.
"Right!" says one of the goblins leading the Braddians. "This 'ere is wun ov our towns. Yer all stayin' 'ere fer now, exept fer sum ov ya. Who's yer fightin' boss?" The soldiers look puzzled. "Yer fightin' boss! Y'know, the big boss-man who's in charge ov you lot!" Colonel Redding stands to attention, and identifies himself. "Right, yer comin' wiv me. The rest ov ya, just stay 'ere, or me lads'll blast ya ta bits! Ah haha!"
Redding is led away by the goblin, who calls himself Rockmuncha, revealing his shattered teeth as he grins. They walk for what seems like a hour through dark caves and winding tunnels before they reach another large room. The room seems to be carved out of a large gold deposit, with chunks of gold poking out of the walls.
The place is crowded with goblins, who are talking to each other, whispering to each other or openly fighting with each other. Redding's superior height allows him to see across the room however, and he spies a large throne, plated with precious minerals. Seated on this throne is a goblin, smaller than most, wearing what looks like a old, broken golden crown.
Rockmuncha turns to Redding. "Right, now we're here. Now, yor gunna have a talk wiv our Big Boss. Or a fight wiv 'im. I'm not fussed. Eitha way, there he is. Now I'm off ta catch sum shut-eye. Or maybe I'll find sum nice gravel..." The goblin wanders off, muttering to himself.
In his diary, Colonel Redding describes:
Colonel Redding wrote: As I walked across the room to their "Big Boss", I looked down to the scores of goblins around me. Some were whispering conspiritorally to each other, others were fighting, some eyed me up suspiciously... there was at least one fire in the room, but none of the creatures seemed to take any notice.
I finally made my way to the goblin leader. He was a small creature, even smaller than most of the other goblins I had seen. He was dressed in a simple sheet of iron for a breastplate, and wore a red cape. The top of his head appeared to be missing, and replaced with an iron skull. The small golden crown, broken in places, was also simple, with a jewel or two here and there, and looked like something a schoolchild would build. The crown looked like it had been welded on to the goblin's head, as if he was afraid of it being stolen.
The comical creature acted as if he were a schoolboy that had been given a crown. He took himself seriously, as did his two bodyguards. However, the rest of the room was in an uproar. The fire had spread, as had the violence. I saw one goblin being thrown through the air, from one side of the room to the other. Another was on fire, with others laughing at it. Yet amidst this chaos, the little king sat, with a blank, slightly bored look on his face, as if he didn't notice the constant imminent danger to his life. It seemed to be business as usual for him, in spite of everything.
"Who're you, then?" the goblin king asks Redding. Redding begins to introduce himself, but is interrupted almost immediately. "Right, right, wotever, I don't care. Look, this 'ere is my cave, see? An' the mountin it's in? That's mine too. An all the mountins around this one is mine. Ya see wot I'm gettin' at wiv this?
Now, I'm the Big Boss 'round 'ere. Me name's Big Boss Pointystik, an' I'm the Big Boss ov me Big Bad Goblin Empire. Were those yor lads that shot at me boat?"
"I, uh... No, your highness. That was the Congregation of the Pure. They are longstanding allies of the Kingdom of Braddia, and are led by..."
"Yeah, yeah, alright, it wasn't you. I wos gunna congrachilate you on the big booms yer boats made when they sank.
Anyway, we've come down from me empire up in tha north, see? Me old dad desided it was time fer us ta expand our borders, like. So he bilt me grate big boat ta float on across tha big water. He came along too, an' he died on tha trip. How he died an' who killed him, you don't need ta no. Anyway, I got tha Boss Hat, an' that means I'm tha Big Boss now. If I tell a gob ta do sumfing, he'll do it. So I told me lads ta get ta this here mountin, an' here we are."
Redding cuts in, "Well, if I may, your highness, I would like to welcome you to..."
"Alright, alright, you've bored me enough. You win. I was gunna take that there belt off ya corpse, but yer too boring. Look, you can leeve wiv all yer lads. Go tell yer Big Boss that tha goblins are here, an' these mountins are mine. I got hundrids a' fowzinds ov gobs, an' if you want a fight, you got wun. If you want ta swap roks, we can do that too. If ya want ta take me Boss Hat, I'll eat yer eyeballs! A-hahahaha!"
Redding doesn't doubt it. He bows, turns and leaves the rambling little lunatic. He is escorted out by Rockmuncha, who appears to have returned minus one arm. He smiles his big, toothless grin, and takes Redding back to his men. The men are then guided out of the vast tunnel network, back into the daylight. The Braddians are left outside the cave entrance. Redding decides that they will indeed head home, and try to report the events of this very odd day.
On his way back, Colonel Redding notices that his pockets had been picked. His pocketwatch, wallet and tobacco have all disappeared. "Goblins," he mutters to himself.